Behind the Times: DMZ

I'm finally getting around to reading Brian Wood & Riccardo Burchielli's series, DMZ.

After slogging through the painfully overrated series, the Walking Dead (didn't even finish it... seriously, what the fuck people? Are our standards that low? Don't open a can of philosophical worms, then abandon it to go on a tour of repetition & hollow struggle), I am so pleased to finally have my hands on a series that takes the questions it raises seriously enough to make the bloodshed secondary to the personal/political struggle.

However, that's not why I'm here today. No, it's to discuss the appearance of one character, Parco Delgado.

Who I was so pleased to see was so obviously modeled on Sen Dog, from Cypress Hill.

For the kiddies out there, who don't know, and have no respect for real rap (not hip-hop, not entirely gangsta, but hard as fuck & miles high), Cypress Hill came up in the late '80s, and joined the ranks of Public Enemy & NWA, as something truly original, a little scary, and -not incidentally- reppin' the Latino pride.

Hand on the Pump:

Movie Review: The Possession

I've recently delved back in to a hobby that I used to really enjoy, but slipped away from me during some phase or transition in my storied life.

Watching movies.

 More precisely; watching movies at the theater, alone.

It struck me today, while in the theater, alone, that I should write reviews, so that other people can marvel at my brilliant observations.

Or, y'know, just so maybe someone might stumble across one and say unto him-or-herself, "Oh, he hates it... then clearly I must rush out to see it."

On the docket today we have The Possession, which is basically the Jewish Exorcist, minus the whole "actually scary" thing, at which the Exorcist excelled.

The only performance worth noting was 13 year old Natasha Callis, who does a beautiful job in the role of the sweet girl who winds up playing host to a demon & the becomes creepy enough to want to make you lock your kids in their rooms.

Actually that was a lie. Her performance was not the only one worth noting... just the only one notably good. The role of the mother is made into a buzzing shrew by Kyra Sedgwick. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, as the father, sheds light on why he's usually cast as a dead guy (see Supernatural, Weeds, Watchmen), and in one of the most devastatingly poor casting choices since Keanu Reeves was hired to play anything other than Ted "Theodore" Logan, the role of the exorcist (played in the aforementioned film, The Exorcist, by one of the greatest actors of any age, Max von Sydow) was handed to Matisyahu.

Matisyahu is good at what he does.

What he does ain't actin'.

Ultimately, if you're home late one night & it's on cable... go to bed. What are you doing up at this hour? Watching scary movies? Pah! You'll rot your brain.

60 Minutes

Why did 60 Minutes ever have Andy Rooney, when they could have had Stan Lee?

Do You Remeber This

Good lord, Dolly Parton was so hot, back when she had a human face.

... and the Brown Dirt Cowboy

This morning, I happened across an article about a young man in England who had his name legally changed to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. 

This prompted me to search the internet for other Really, Really Good Ideas.

How about I take your Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined, and raise you two friends who had their names legally changed to Emperor Spiderman Gandalf Wolverine Skywalker Optimus Prime Goku Sonic Xavier Ryu Cloud Superman Heman Batman Thrash, and Baron Venom Balrog Sabretooth Vader Megatron Vegeta Robotnik Magneto Bison Sephiroth Lex Luthor Skeletor Joker Grind.

Or, how about the Norweigian who changed his name to Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacca Highlander Elessar-Jankov...

Also, this is a photo of him:

We also have the 22 year old James Bond fanatic who changed his name to James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View To A Kill The Living Daylights Licence To Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond.

Unfortunately, I'm having a difficult time tracking down too many that aren't just dumbass celebrities, so if you come across any, please let me know.

You may now go about your business.

The Surreal Sweater of Alan Moore, The Audacity of Marvel, & Other Terrifying Tales of Terror

Dear you,

I know I'm not much at keeping in touch... but I swipe too many lines from obscure texts...

It's like this: My thinking becomes too disorganized to keep stopping by your place with gems of delight. Fingers in too many pots, and all that. Trying to quit smoking. Taking the aggression that produces out on my weight set. My arms won't fit in my shirts, soon.

The good: Last weekend I was, thanks to the generosity of a dear friend, one of the handful of live participants in the Alan Moore video chat, which was done for the purposes of raising funds for the Harvey Pekar memorial statue, at the Cleveland public library.

Alan was, as ever, brilliant, thoughtful, funny, and articulate in a manner that we Americans will never master.

He was also wearing the most unexpected & daring sweater. Go here to see the full chat, along with his sweater, and a peek at his boots (made from tiny cows).

The bad: I want to call for a boycott of the new Ghost Rider film, but who the hell is going to go see it anyway?

Oh, wait... probably a lot of people, seeing as the first Ghost Rider film grossed $228,738,393, worldwide.

That's a whole lot of cheddar. If Marvel is pulling that kind of skrilla in off of one diabolically bad movie, then explain to me how this shit is OK?

I get that he signed away rights of ownership. I don't like the system which designed that fact, but legally he's got no claim. That said, how in the name of something incredibly crude -which I shan't type, for fear of religious retribution- was it reasonable for the defendant (which is worth enough money that Disney was willing to buy it for $4 billion, in 2009) to lay a counter claim against Gary Friedrich, for $17,000?

To the defendant & it's parent company, $17,000 is an insult tip.  To Gary, it's a whole lot more money than he has. I met Gary at Comic-Con, when he was receiving an industry award, for his outstanding contributions to the field, last year (yes, that recently). A recovering alcoholic, and a devout Christian, he is a sweet, incomparably genuine man.

And broke.

This is the long way of begging you to donate to the Hero Initiative.

Oh, and Roy Lichtenstein can continue to kiss my ass.

More Muck

Alright, so I've posted scans from my Swamp Thing sketchbook, and now I figure I'll throw in a sketch of the Swamp Thing that I did during dinner at the hotel bar, while I was on vacation: